Don't say it, shut your fuckin mouth and keep on walkin'

Don't say it, shut your fuckin mouth and keep on walkin'

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I started writing again recently and then it hit the fan again, to put it bluntly I have some pretty stressful shit going on in my life currently and trying to stay focused on my health is extremely hard when I have so many other places my attention needs to be. I am stretched thin right now and just don't have the time to get on here and post as much as I would like and it sucks because this blog is a VERY important tool in my weight loss/health regimen but tonight, sleep deprived and feeling pretty fucked about how this weight game is going right now I came across a post that had been shared on facebook from a person that I do not know. 

I will not post her name but if she reads this she needs to know that she IS NOT a fat bitch and kids are stupid. I completely related to what she wrote as I have been there done that with someone taking the time to make sure that their stupid fucking opinion was shouted loudly cementing into a fat persons brain what they already know... Yes world we are quite fucking aware that we are fat, thanks for stating the obvious along with solidifying the fact that you are a complete douche bag. 

Struggling with weight loss is as hard as anything I or any other person dealing with it has ever done and people who have never been there do not have the right to say a single negative word about it to anyone who struggles with being over weight. How about if you feel so inclined to make sure stupidity flies out of your mouth you change it into something positive instead, and if that's too hard for you fucking idiots then just keep your mouth shut.  

We are fathers, brothers sisters moms and cousins to someone, everyone on the planet struggles with something or will struggle with something and verbally smashing their face in with insults is not helping a single person and that goes for any struggle with any person not just us fatties.

If you have something negative to say fuck off and keep it to yourself, have a look in the mirror and ask yourself why you feel the need to belittle someone else because they are fat before you take time from your day to insult someone whom you do not know.

I will get down off of my soap box now but you get my point. 

As Ever
Me

No sugar coating.

No sugar coating.

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Losing weight is not an easy task for many people, it takes time and it takes a lot of patience but if the time and effort is put in better health can happen for just about anyone if it can happen for me. I consider myself lucky to have what I do, I have a great family and I am afforded the opportunity to spend loads of time with my daughter for whom without I may not have started down the path that I have. I happen to be 211 pounds down the road but it wasn't always like that for me as I started off at over 500 pounds and unable to walk for more than 10 minutes at a time without pain, but I did it. Turning down treats such as Aunties peanut butter fudge, or my mother in laws plates of experimental cakes or cookies was once a difficult task but again, I did it. I am in the opinion that anyone can lose weight and I came to that conclusion because if I can do it the apparent slacker video game addict calling "I'm base" when a game of tag came up as a child, disk injury havin once 534 pound guy can do it why can't the next guy or gal?


I mentioned that I feel lucky to have what I have but that's the end of where I feel lucky, when my weight loss is the subject I don't feel lucky at all because luck had not an ounce of sway on the results that I've had thus far, I busted my ass for every one of those 211 pounds lost. This is the part that I believe fails to get through to many people that attempt weight loss, I have been guilty of it myself and I see it all too many times when someone tries to lose some pounds, much of my family has struggled with weight throughout my lifetime so I have seen lots of "diets" started. The gun shot goes off and off to a great start! a couple pounds come off and almost immediately slacking starts, "nah I won't exercise today" or "It's just one peanut butter cookie" and before you know it the "start" of the next "diet" is coming to a Monday near you, its just not going to happen without the effort.

All of that thought came from my off day that I had because of "stress" and I began thinking about when I was 500 plus pounds and I was walking with my wife to a park that was literally less than 2 blocks from our house at the time and how I felt. It was Jan 2008, I had just begun eating better and couldn't believe that I was sticking with this for 2 weeks so far, I had an apple in my hand and walking slowly towards the playground I felt like a new person. We got to the play ground and I said to my wife something along the lines of "I got my walk in for the day" and I was red faced and out of breath from walking less than 2 blocks, but I had my apple in hand and DID walk to the playground and at that point it was what I could do. Was it a little embarrassing that all I could walk was such a short distance? it was a lot embarrassing! and I played it off like I could have done more but the truth is that if I had to go any further I would have needed a break which in fact stopping to let the kids play was the break I needed to make it back home.

Currently I think that I am in the best shape of my life and that's kind of bad considering that I am still above 300 pounds but it is what it is, I have worked hard to get here and no one can take that from me, not even a bad day of stress eating. I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I once was physically and mentally because once upon a time I would be looking for the next Monday start date for my next attempt, but here I am. Tomorrow I will hop on the scale for the official blog weight and with the week that I have had eating wise and missing the gym for this past weekend in its entirety I am not really expecting much in the way of a new low in the am but I will report in what the scale says none the less. A trip to the gym this afternoon and some good choices with my intake for the day along with another 2.5-3 gallons of fluid should help me along with tomorrow weigh in but in the grand scheme my fumble will not make a difference at all.

You can lose weight, you can get healthy, you can stop dropping pity on yourself and get that ass up and do something about but YOU have to do the work, and YOU have to realize that its not a picnic to do so and there will be times that just plain old sucks ass but if YOU stop doing what needs to be done for your own health then there is only one person to blame...

YOU..

Fini

As Ever
Me

Day 37

Day 37

weight loss

So, I skipped exercise again, my shoulder was still feeling odd, and the last thing I need is to put myself out of the exercise game. BUT something I noticed, and this could just be a fluke or a variety of different things, I hopped on the scale today and since I have not been exercising, Tuesday-Wednesday and today is actually Thursday. so 2 solid days no exercise, I have lost more weight in that couple day period than any other 3 day span yet. this makes me think I should be eating more calories per day. so maybe its time for an experiment. The other thing that has changed is I have been taking Lecthin regularly, so maybe thats contributing to the more than usual loss. or maybe its just a good week. I don't know, and I don't know what I will do whether it be more calories and keep the exercise the same, or no exercise for a week to see what happens (which I do not want to do) , or no change at all and be happy with what I am doing so far.

Pretty good day a far as intake went, just under 1500 calories for the day so I am happy with that. I am totally convinced that if I had a food addiction that it is gone. I find myself forgetting to eat at times and remembering only because my daughter will ask for a snack or something and realize is been 4 hours since I have eaten a thing. I do drink almost constantly, whether it be green tea, water, or crystal light.

My clothing is looser! now I know I have only a recorded 13lb loss but remember I had been doing this for almost a full month before I had the scale, and after getting the scale I am on a 1lb per day pace (faster than that for the past couple days) and if its a 1lb per day pace for the entire time (which I don't count on even though its likely correct) that would mean I am down almost 40 lbs! for a person of my stature for clothing to be looser it would have to be a substantial amount of loss for that to occur. anyway, I am down a pants size. a whole pants size! all of my pants that I have been wearing now fall of of me! even with a belt they don't stay up. I am on the last hole in my belt and its not really holding the jeans up, so time for a new belt! My shirts are fitting looser too. not so much to go down a size but definitely looser. I couldn't be happier with my results thus far. I have to dig through the closet and a couple boxes where I have my old cloths and see if I can find a few pair of pants! that feels good, I got to tell ya. unfortunately I know that I don't have many pair in 1 size smaller. But I have a ton of pants 2 sizes smaller (some even brand new with tags still on it) so I am all set for when that happens. I will just wear what I have in 1 size smaller and the too big size with a belt until then. wow that part of the post got long fast lol, I guess I am happier than I thought about it. let me get onto the menu.


02/06/2008

Breakfast
9:15 AM
2 cups bran cereal 180
1 cup 1% milk 110
Dannon lite yogurt 60

Lunch
3:00 PM
3oz roasted chicken 165
2 slices pumpernickle bread 140
3 dill pickle slices 5
1 tbsp Miracle whip 35
glass crystal light 20

Dinner
6:15 PM
2 cups dads chicken soup 350
3/4 cup white rice 150
crystal light 20

7:30 PM
1 pear 120

8:15 PM
1 banana 105


Grand total of 1460 calories for the day, did I mention I am down a pants size? lol I mean a God honest whole size. I can't believe it. I did notice my pants getting looser but a whole size! I am in high spirits and have a distinct feeling of accomplishment going on right now. Thanks for reading!

As Ever
Me