At the core of it.. weight loss for the guy I use to know

At the core of it.. weight loss for the guy I use to know

calorie counting llose weight lost 200 pounds Weight Loss zeusmeatball

Sometimes we lose sight of things and others its like we snatch it up by it's throat and handle it immediately, then other times circumstances dictate where the boat goes and it gets me thinking...

I am who I am, and I know I stole that from Popeye but its the truth so I'll use it, but my point is that no matter the circumstances I am who I am. The environment can change and at times environments can change us but at out core we remain. I am the same guy who dropped 229 pounds like it was my job but I have gained a significant amount of that back, and lost it again then gained it back... again, and this cycle is ridiculously unfortunate and infuriating all at the same time. 

I'm capable of eating within my calories, I am capable of exercising (perhaps not up the point that I want to but I can) yet I find myself doing the opposite more times than not lately and well yeah.. I told my wife "After the 1st its on like Donkey Kong baby, I'm losing it again" now I find myself eating less but not counting like I should and I am definitely not exercising as I should be but why?

I compare weight loss/healthy living to a train rolling down the tracks and if you look above you'll see the banner reflects that as its been there almost since conception of this blog. A train takes a lot to get it rolling, chugging along sputtering and spitting making lots of noise, bellowing smoke and dragging the immense weight of itself down the tracks. Slowly but surely it gains momentum, picking up speed and it gets easier for the train to keep rolling until its up to speed and chugging along almost effortlessly, efficiently and I dare you to stop it. 

The thing about trains is that if it does derail its typically disastrous, freight all over the place, rail cars smashed and crashed and all of the momentum is lost. Talking about derailed, I started off with Popeye.. So, my point is that I am the guy that lost all that weight, I am that guy who sputtered and chugged along the tracks and I did it, I was as healthy as I have ever been in my life and well, you guessed it, derailed but I'm thinking that just because I was derailed doesn't mean that I am done for yet I think I've been looking at it that way because of all of the I will use pain for a summery kind of word as to a big part of my lack of momentum again. but I think its time, time to say to hell with it and get back on that horse because the alternative hasn't been so fun. 

At my core I am that guy, the one who loves his bikes, the guy who can hike all day and be happy about it, the very same guy who teamed up on his friend reprimanding him for eating "cloned beef" thats me and I'm tired of wearing this other guy suit and ignoring who I am at my core....

Lets get this train rolling again. 

As Ever

Me

Day something, calorie record.

Day something, calorie record.

calorie counting calorie record lose 200 pounds making a come back zeusmeatball

 Something not totally new, Posting my daily intake. I have been doing fairly for a bit so I wanted to share the menus from my days, for now it will be simplistic with my intake but perhaps I will start writing again, we shall see.

I allow myself 1800 calories per day currently


Breakfast
2 servings pops cereal        240
8 oz 1% milk        110

Snack    
2 Dannon light Greek yogurt        160

Lunch     
Applebees Steakhouse Bruschette Sirloin        530
a few sweet potato fries from wifes plate of fries        150
     
Dinner
3 light mozz cheese sticks        180
olive oil        40
2 La Tortilla factory wraps        220
pizza sauce        30
diced peppers/onions       20
parm cheese        20
1/2 oz pepperoni        40

Evening snack       
2 Dannon light Greek yogurt        160

Total intake for 5-25-15 is 1900 calories.         

I am weighing myself again and perhaps that will start making appearances here on the blog again too.

As Ever
Me

As simply as I can say it..

As simply as I can say it..

I'm fucking awesome just do it Weight Loss You are here zeusmeatball

In life, sometimes we are not sure where to start, many times it seems so daunting that we fail before we start, other times we dwell on what use to be but it will always remain the same no matter at what junction we stand.

You must start from the point at which you currently stand, not because its the best idea, not because someone else said so and not because the mood strikes you on any particular day.

But because it is where you stand and there is no other starting point.

What's holding YOU back?

Now to take my own advice.....

As Ever

Me

Day 1, an inch at a time... Kicking and screaming if I must.

Day 1, an inch at a time... Kicking and screaming if I must.

calorie counting lost 200 pounds Weight Loss zeusmeatball

Baby steps.. that's what they say right? This oh woe is me shit doesn't look good on me so I've decided that I am going to try and pull that old me.. err or is it the new me? or maybe the new old me, well whatever it is hes coming back out in the front of the line. Its hard, I won't lie but when has it been easy? so if I drag myself an inch at a time eventually that will be a foot, then a mile then.... 

I am tired of this shit, I am tired of being tired and I am aggravated with myself for allowing the back pedaling with my health and weight, in that order because with good health comes the weight loss. I was once a completely sedentary 500 pound man, I became an extremely active 300 pound super hero and I have slowly but surely inched my way back up to over 400 pounds and inactive. No fucking way am I going to let myself stay here, I deserve better and like I said, if I have to drag my ass an inch at a time so be it. 

There will be slips, there will be days that I don't feel the way I feel as I write this but working through those times is what I need to relearn to do because if I don't I let people down and not just myself. When I started this blog I was completely lost, it was an experiment as much as a desperate man forcing a change so that death was not peeking into his windows every night and this time around I have a little more experience and I have to apply that to my daily so that we're back where we need to be.

Today I decided that this would be my Day 1.

Today I am recommitting myself to myself.

Today I take back what I worked so hard to get and what I deserve to have. 

This train is no longer idle, please step aside, I would hate to run over any innocent bystanders.. 

As Ever
Me

It's your process, fuck the rest.

It's your process, fuck the rest.

calorie counting lose 200 pounds reflection Weight Loss zeusmeatball

Walking, riding, eating right and staying hydrated, welcome to my life right now. This is the way it needs to be, I enjoy life like this better than any other way so that makes being a stress eater very frustrating. I see motivational sayings posted all over the internet and facebook etc and I think most of them are pretty silly mostly because I think every person struggling with weight loss though sharing THAT common denominator is in a different place.

5?? pounds.

I can state "The decision is yours! You have the fork in your hand! just put it down!" and some of the people will completely relate and say "hell yeah!" while others will want to say it and feel that way but truth be told they are not at that stage in their process. I find that weight loss and better health is less one dimensional than that and one day to the next can be completely different experiences not from different people but from the same person. When I am on point I feel unstoppable, I am a weight loss superstar dammit and this fat will not continue to loiter around on my front step and that's the end of it, but when a bad day peeks in well yeah. When I am off its a struggle, I mean every minute of the day, Staying true to the process is not easy in those moments and no matter how much I want or need to stay dead solid on track something inside is trying to get me to fail at that task.

I know life, if you want to call it that at more than 500 pounds, I know life at 300 pounds and I know life at 400 knowing how the other two feel after being there so recently and frustration is dug in deep on all levels. When I was 500 pounds I thought there was no fixing it on my own, I felt like it was a hopeless venture and I would be stuck there forever so I tried. That adventure brought me all the way down to 300 pounds, I got invites from talk shows to appear on them and I even went to the Dr Oz show because of it, I have made friends because of the weight loss, I rode my bikes constantly became very active and felt amazing. Then less than a couple years ago I lost my mother, I was 330 pounds on that day and I know because I posted a blog post here and got the call immediately after I posted and days like that tend to stick out in a persons mind. Some other "stresses" dominated my life and I put on at least 100 pounds over the last year and a half or so, currently I am just under 400 pounds after losing at my best estimate about 30 pounds.

320 lbs

Losing weight and better health is not a one size fits all kind of thing, BUT in general if you eat less (and healthy foods) and move more the weight should come off even if its not as fast as you would like. I am extremely motivated and pig headed once I get something in my head and for the life of me I could not drop any weight in the last almost two years no matter how hard I tried or pretended to try or or or.... 

I think that its awesome that blogger X, Y and Z are at that point in their process that they can tout how easy it is as long as you put the fork down or how YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF WHAT YOU EAT! rah rah sis boom bah! awesome... but.. Something I have learned is that no matter who we are, we all struggle with the same problem in very different ways and that is why there is no "miracle pill" that works or will ever work. 

 320 lbs

I am at a point in my process where I can see things from so many angles all at the same time and I almost feel like this is what I needed on a personal level to get and keep the weight off permanently, you know, to see 500, 300 and then start coming back up again so that in a way its like that whole not missing something till its gone thing. I am just under 400 pounds, I need to get back down to a maximum of 300 pounds and I almost feel like I needed to taste that freedom so that I can appreciate it the way that I should have when I was there the first time around. 

Walking with my children, riding my bike with my daughter, riding my bike alone on a trail covered in dead leaves on a cool Autumn day, appreciating everything that I can do effortlessly because I am not carrying the equivalent of another human being on my bones  are just some of the things that I enjoy about not being super obese. 

305 lbs, I need to get back here like NOW!

This post is purely written for me, I contemplated not posting it to the blog but I use the blog to reflect back at moments and how I felt at a given moment so it shall be posted. Take from it what you want to, take nothing at all if that works for you but remember we are all walking a road that is filled with obstacles, we all struggle and though the end results that we all seek may be the same, the road taken is rarely even close to the same.  

Stay focused, Stay as positive as the moment permits and with a ton of hard work I believe that we can all meet at the end of that road and share our stories of how we got there with one another. 

That's all I got. 

As Ever
Me   

Flying blind on a rocket cycle...

Flying blind on a rocket cycle...

lost 200 pounds low calorie diet sexy fat man Weigh in zeusmeatball

I have been doing this with the Bodymedia arm band for 22 days now, I have been sticking to walking and eating right for about a week past that and though I know that I am doing everything right I had no gauge because my scale checks out at 400 pounds. Frustrating much? damn right it is, working my ass off but not knowing where the progress or lack of progress is is a little annoying. The 1980 flick Flash Gordon (one of my favorite flicks) came to mind, there is a line in that movie where he says that hes flying blind on a rocket cycle when talking to Prince Vultan and its how I've felt.

Until this morning...

Hopped onto the scale this morning and the little spinning circles were going to stop on "E" again so I barely looked at down but when it stopped t was not an E, no it was not, not today it was a 403.6. So I got on again and waddaya know, 403.6 again and with that I have something to go off to measure progress without looking into the mirror and thinking "I look a little less puffy" so I am pleased with this event this morning. I am taken back to a post from when I started dropping weight in the beginning of 2008 and its funny how clear I remember writing that post. I did not have a scale back then and when I finally got one that would hold me I was 511 pounds, I remember being happy that I was 511 pounds and I mentioned in the post how excited I was and its again how I feel this morning.

I am very much addicted to checking my weight when I am on, Hey! I like to know my progress what can I say? so knowing that I am today weighing in at 403.6 pounds I have a start point, a line in the sand if you will and its time to start crushing it again... hey hey no fat jokes! I crush lots of things but this weight is coming down and the plan is to get it back down to 300 then reevaluate from there. 

I will continue to do what I am doing because its obviously working, I am back on the scale, I feel better than I have in a year and thats enough. I am doing my part now my body needs to keep on letting go of the weight and we will get back to where we need to be and I can get on with not being as giant as I am/was again.

Today I will go on my walk, today I will go on my evening bike ride with my daughter and today I will eat within my calorie limits, see ya back at 300 pounds!

That's all I got for today

As Ever
Me

This is mine.

This is mine.

fuck you Weight Loss zeusmeatball

Every painful step I take up this fucking hill, every rotation of the pedals where my legs beg for mercy, every single drop of sweat that beads on my head and runs into my eyes, I have earned, it is my debt to pay. I have been sentenced to this, it is mine, I own it and I need to make good on all of the late night deals that I made, all of the second plates, the pain now is the price for those things and I accept that as my sentence so my body will have to enjoy the pain because its not going to stop.

Now get out of my way before someone gets hurt, the brakes are gone, there is no stopping this train.

As Ever

The Train

Do or do not, there is no try..

Do or do not, there is no try..

1800 calorie weight loss fat guy fishing k2 Zed lost 200 pounds walking for weighe loss zeusmeatball

This weekend went well where my calories and exercise are the subject, Saturday was an awesome day all around that ended with a bike ride with my eldest daughter and Sunday ended with fishing and a walk in a park that's local to us. I am finding keeping myself on task lately easier than its been in a good long while, I am again eating for fuel instead of recreation and that's huge!

Saturday I dodged pizza, I passed on cup cakes, said nah none for me to cookies. decided against ice cream and honestly besides the pizza all of that was pretty easy. My calories are where they should be and I have walked almost every day for the last 3 weeks, I am back on my bike in the order of after dinner rides with my daughter and I setup a longer ride with a friend and his kid for this coming weekend, I am sure I will be damning the cold weather soon enough as I pull my bike trainer out again.... I hope. 

A shot of my bike by the water from a couple nights ago.

I try to snap a few pics when we stop but honestly I am enjoying the rides again so my daughter is actually asking me to snap pics of "our rides" meaning the bikes so I do have a few. I will try and do my part and keep this trend going... wait.. scratch that, I will do my part to keep things going in this directions because in the words of Yoda "Do or do not, there is no try" so we'll go with that. 

So all in all I seem to be on a decent little run here, I feel better than I have in a while and its getting easier to go for my walks with the kids. I still don't know my exact weight as my scale is limited but I can't bee too much more than its limit at this point so soon I will have a weight to post on here and start my progress downward again with my motorcycle comparison weight images.

Until the next episode of as the fat guy turns... tune in to see bike rides, walks and fishing while a fat dude gets smaller... again....

As Ever
Me

A new week

A new week

400 pound man 500 pound man calorie counting success fishing weight loss lost 200 pounds walking walking for weight loss Weight Loss zeusmeatball

We have a week behind us, but its not just a week its a successful week where my health is concerned. I stuck to my calories all week and throughout the weekend and I am moving more again, I am going to admit something because my blog has always been about accountability. I have a scale, it weighs up to 400 pounds, when I bought this scale I had the option to buy one that went to 450 pounds but in my wildest dreams I never thought I would see even 350 pounds never mind 400 and I find myself unable to weigh myself at home currently. Yep, I am more than 400 pounds currently and not very happy about it so I am indeed weighing myself every couple days waiting for that scale to pop off a number for me to go off of but for now I am as they say flying blind. 

I am not much more than 400 but I am above because my scale gives me a "E" I will continue to do what I am doing, logging my food, walking daily and getting my fluids in and sooner than later I am guessing that scale will give me a number. 

A shot of the moon over the lake I was fishing Saturday.

From Friday to Sunday I stayed active running errands and fishing, I skipped going out to a Polynesian place on Saturday night with my father in law mostly because looking at their menu it was a lot of fried foods and "Chinese" style dishes read: like Chinese fast food and since I have done so well I wanted it to remain that way. I have a walk planned for today some time and maybe some fishing so staying active is definitely on my agenda and I am bringing it back to basics with the walking because it works! 

when I began down this road to a healthier life I walked, I walked some more and then I walked some more, then it wasn't because I thought it to be an awesome weight loss tool (I sort of did) but it was because it was what I could muster being 500 plus pounds. This time around its a combination of the two, walking is something that I can do with my daughter and we both enjoy it, walking allows me to basically have an hour long conversation with her while we do something physical together and well to be honest its at my current pay grade so to speak.

Walking, counting calories, staying focused on the task at hand is my job right now, not because I want to do it, not because I should do it but because I need to do it.... so I will. 

the cycling like a madman will come back in due time... until then its just me and my walking with some light biking tossed in. 

Until next time.

As Ever
Me

My bike storage fix.

My bike storage fix.

bike hanger bike storage clydesdale cyclist gary fisher xcaliber trek xcaliber zeusmeatball

So my wife says that I have too many bikes, no surprise there I suppose but she also says that she is tired of stepping over them and since I am not willing to park my Xcal outside and she was not letting go either I had to figure something out. I keep two of my bikes in the house, in my bedroom specifically.. yeah yeah I know but my K2 is set up on the trainer at the moment and the Xcaliber is not going outside so here we are. 

The way I see it is that the bike could be art.. stretching? perhaps but even still so I thought about making some sort of system that would allow me to hang the bike in front of a window that's on the side of my room which would A.) get the bike out of my short wife's way and B.) allow the bike to be inside without bothering anyone. After thinking about it, yep a whole 10 minutes, I ran out to the home improvement store for supplies and spent I would guess under five bucks on some wood and the rest of the stuff I had laying around. 

 

 Not too shabby.

  I did make sure to leave room for the curtain to slide behind the shelves to keep them out of the way and somewhat protected from being up against the tires.

I built two small shelves that would be wide enough for the wheels to sit on yet not stick off of the wall in a way that would be in the way. I measured the window and the bikes foot print fit perfectly and after some quick measurements and some cutting the shelves were made and mounted on the wall, not too bad. For the hanger on the top tube I used a piece of 550 paracord that I had laying around, 2 small carabiners also which I had laying around and a small vinyl coated hook that I had in my box O stuff and viola! the bike was on the wall. After it was mounted and I knew the bike fit it was primed and painted white to match the woodwork  around the window and I used stair tread grip tape in the center just to give the wheel a more positive gripping surface and to keep the wood clean as the tire sits on the tape. 

Over all it works awesome, the bike is out of the way and it cost me close to nothing with the grip tape pack being the most expensive thing I had to buy. I did use a bandana around the top tube just to spread the force of the paracord and keep the paint from getting mussed up, I honestly believe that the paracord is soft enough to not hurt the bike but it is no big deal to put the bandana on.

There you have it, my solution to a problem that didn't exist in my eyes but at the same time it is a pretty convenient way to store the bike when its not being ridden and way better than putting it upstairs in our extra room which is used for storage.

I am attempting to post more often again to get my arse back in gear and share with whoever cares to read along the struggles, triumphs and things like this here post so that someone may take something away from my ramblings that might help them in their own struggle. 

That's all I got for today. 

As Ever

Me

Be your own hero dammit.

Be your own hero dammit.

Be your own hero calorie counting lost 200 pounds Weight Loss weight loss with calories zeusmeatball

When we set our minds to something, we can accomplish almost anything at all in life, I truly believe that statement wholeheartedly. 

Motivation, now that is the key because without proper motivation it is very easy to lose sight of the end game, but how about of you made it to the end game and slid back? then what? We all struggle with things in life, for some of us its money, others its health and that list goes on and on and on. When it comes down to it ain't no one gonna do shit for you in life and why should they? if you do not do it for yourself its just not going to get done and when we can realize this all of the things that make us smile all start falling together until one day we're standing at the top of a peak looking down at the world that was once so much smaller than it is now.

Having positive role models is an awesome tool! I know all too well how strong the feeling can be when you are reaching to be like someone or are attempting to emulate what someone has done but I find myself asking why lately. Why? why does it need to be somewhere else that we find strength? why does inspiration need to be found in others? why? Find it in yourself and it will be ever lasting and I believe this to be key because if you are finding inspiration in yourself then we are forced to hold ourselves more accountable, we are forced to make better choices in whatever we do not only because it effects us directly but because you want to be the best you can for that person that finds you an inspiration. 

That person is You..

Be your own fuckin' hero dammit, put that cape on every day and hunt down everything that makes your struggle difficult and work through it, kick down the doors and demand whats yours. When you can be your own hero you will work to impress that guy and he will work to impress you, it will become a viscous cycle of trying to one up each others awesomeness until one day you will look back at what once was and be satisfied with what you have accomplished. 

what YOU have accomplished.... 

Be your own hero dammit....

As Ever
Me

Why I ride...

Why I ride...

bicycling clydesdale bicycling cycling for weight loss why I ride zeusmeatball

A page on facebook popped into my feed and there was a statement "Why I ride" there, I am currently reflecting on things because the struggle with keeping myself in check is in full swing right now and I thought about that statement.

Why I ride....

Why do I ride? I ride because there was a point in my life when riding was not a possibility, I watched from the window on my broken couch at 534 pounds as people walked by and honestly asked myself "why would someone want to just go for a walk or ride a bike?" this is where I was. A decision was made to lose weight and during the time that the weight came off I found cycling again, the last time I had ridden I was a kid. On my bicycle I am free, I am limited only by my own strength, my own endurance so as long as there is a road or a trail I can ride. Going from 534 pounds down to 300 paired with cycling could be compared to being a caged animal, one day you realize that the cage is unlocked and watching other people do the things that you want to do is no longer reality because now the wind is on your own face.

It may sound silly to some people that the freedom riding a bicycle gives to me is a very powerful feeling because knowing how the cage feels compared to moving down a trail is such a stark difference. My life on two wheels includes freedom, freedom to go where I want when I want while getting a high at the same time all while under my own power. Now when you were once powerless this is an exceptional feeling, to be moving forward literally and figurativly seeing life through the eyes of the child that you once were atop a frame bolted to some wheels a chain and some handlebars truly is something to not be taken for granted.

Like the saying goes, "It's like riding a bike, you never forget" the same can be said about that caged feeling when you weigh 500 plus pounds, you never forget....

I will not be caged..and THAT is why I ride.

As Ever
Me

Suffer, it is the only option.

Suffer, it is the only option.

calorie counting lost 200 pounds Weight Loss zeusmeatball

See that wagon over yonder? yeah, the one that I fell off of about a week ago, that's the one, keep your eye on it because I am hoping back on. When stress enters stage left its devastating for my ass, I immediately go to the "stress eating" and nothing helps it. Figuring out how to deal with stress in a different way has to be a priority for me as it is how do they say? my down fall. 

Not getting into exactly the source of stress because its nothing that I can fix or change, I need to change the how I deal with it factor more than the stress itself because life will always include stress on one level or another. I am not making excuses for my lack of control with the eating and I am not blaming "stress" I am just straight up stating the why part of the equation that lead to a screwed week of poor choices when it came to my intake.

Me and my beard full of ice.

My poor Truck

My driveway after using the snow blower and its still not down to black top! to give you a point of reference, that's a Ford Expedition and the snow is higher than the tire.

With that said, I have ridden the trainer more this week than I have all year and with the snow that came down over the weekend I haven't stopped moving with all of the shoveling but that will not make up for the lack of discipline in the refrigerator department. When my weight loss is the subject my intake is more important than any exercise that happens, from the beginning I lose weight faster when I eat within my calories and walk at least a mile 3-4 times per week and this has to go back into place as my basic program.

Making sure that my calorie limit is not disrespected will be my main focus in the coming weeks, I will also be utilizing the trainer and walking to get some movement into each day. I was talking to Wify last night and told her that I really wished that I could figure out why as soon as stress pops its head into my daily that I immediately turn to my old pal food, it is the most frustrating aspect of my life. No matter how hard I try, no matter how far I come or how much weight I drop when it comes to stress in my life the same fix pops into the picture, snatch something up and shove it down my throat, fuck....

This whole weight loss thang is not a race so it truly is just a start over from now kind of a feeling but I have to tell you, looking back at photos of me at 305 may as well be a kick to the throat because its where I want to be. Looking at my closet full of a wardrobe full of clothes that just don't fit me currently pisses me off and yet stress pops in? you know where to find me.

Only one thing to do and that's to put my big boy pants on stop acting like a Nancy and harden the fuck up, allowing food to have this hold on me is weak and fighting with that fact is not easy but its my life and weighing close to 400 pounds is NOT in the fucking plan. 

That's all I got for today, time to ride the trainer. 

As Ever

Me

Pre weigh in blah blah and a video for your AM coffee.

Pre weigh in blah blah and a video for your AM coffee.

Bontrager sr1 bontrager sr1 slick country rock tire cycleops fluid 2 Weigh in Weight Loss zeusmeatball

Tomorrow is the day, you know what day I mean, the day that I record my weight for the blog of course and though the scale has been playing with me I think I got it figured out as to why I was getting different weights. Of course we will see if it stays accurate but all I did was move it into the living room to weigh in on the hard wood floors, which is odd because the bedroom has hard woods to but when I moved it into the living room I got the same weight reading four times in a row. For now I will keep this scale and if it continues to be a practical joker with me it will find itself sitting inside the cold lonely container at the local transfer station.

Over all I am doing well, I am not hungry for the most part even though I have my moments where I feel like cookie monster and want to open the fridge and empty its contents into my mouth but they are few and far between so I can deal. I do need to incorporate more exercise into my days just for the fact that well.. I ain't doin' enough in my opinion and I don't want to use this as an excuse but when its 4 degrees and windy outside going for a walk with the 2 year old is probably not the best plan of action in any case. I have been toying with some dumb bells that I have around the house and that's not a shot at anyone in particular, I mean lifting some light weights. 

A short video of the trainer and some different tires that I posted last year, I figured I would pop in up here for fun, that Bontrager SR1 tire is still doing great by the way!

I have a set of dumb bells that I am doing things like curls with no rest meaning 4 sets of 10 but not resting between arms, the rest is the time between switching arms. I am also doing shoulder presses the same way, lateral raises, front raises, bent rows and a stretching routine almost daily so I am getting some exercise in just not the cardio that I want to. "Why aren't you using the trainer fat boy?" I don't have an answer for that besides its hard to find time to do it because during the day with the kiddo its rough to expect her to just stay alone watching tv or something for the 20-30 mins I would be on the bike and then later my home sort of implodes on itself.

With everything I said considered I am going to do my best to get a trainer ride in today, I have not gone for a walk in a couple days because of the bitter cold outside and think I would benefit from a short spin on the bike. I will weigh in tomorrow morning and report what the scale said to me here, I am expecting a decent loss for the week but the scale could be pulling my leg again so we shall see. The trend is downward for my weight and that is really all that matters, I am not getting hung up on a number but it does help to see it get lower each day so a  good tool it remains. 

Check me out tomorrow morning to see what the weight gods bestow upon me, drink more green tea too guys! 

Until then..

As Ever
Moi

150 calorie meal that is amazing, also frustration.

150 calorie meal that is amazing, also frustration.

150 calorie meal calorie counting recipe egg white and spinach lose 200 pounds More garlic recipe Weight Loss zeusmeatball

So, I have been doing just awesome for a few weeks now, I track my food, I am walking more again and I finally got to weigh myself but alas! that last part is oh so important for moral and focus for me and the scale is refusing to play nice. I am not saying that its not playing nice because I am not losing, no no, I am indeed losing but its not playing nice in the way that I got on it 5 times this morning and I got a different weight every time! This has been happening more and more and I have a feeling that the scale may be defective or it might just be telling me to get the hell off that it cannot breathe when I am on there. The fact that I cannot get a solid accurate number each AM is messing with me in ways that I don't need to be messed with right now and I believe a new scale is in order because to get frustrated 5 minutes after I wake up because of something that is suppose to help me is not a good start to any day. 

The last couple days I have been struggling with feeling hungry and I can;t decide if its just my body trying one last time to convince me that I need to eat the junk not unlike a five year old would do for fifteen more minutes before bed? or if my frustrations are projecting into hunger. I am not diggin' on this hunger any more that I would enjoy listening to a Justin Bieber CD from start to finish so we gotsta figure this one out. Wify said this morning "Go get a new scale" so I believe its what I will do as this needs not be more frustrating than it has to be and speaking of Wify, she came to the rescue last night with the dinner that you see above. 

My calories were approaching a number that was starting to mean no dinner for the big fella or at least a very small unsatisfying dinner so I started going through options and mentioned that egg whites might not be a bad idea. Wify said something to the effect how would egg whites with spinach on whole wheat wraps sound? since we had some baby spinach left in the fridge and a short conversation later I said "Make me your vision then and I appreciate it" so it was made so. As it turns out we had no wraps left so I decided that having it on light whole wheat toast open faced would be good so as Wify was cooking the spinach with some garlic I made the toast. She was going to dice the tomato up and put it on top cold but I decided that popping it into the pan with a bit more garlic ~I mean who doesn't like MORE garlic?~ would be better than cold and the result was amazingly simple to make and tasted awesome for a tiny amount of calories.

We made enough for three open faced sandwiches but I decided that I would have two and let her try one so for three open faced sandwiches the calories would have only been 225 calories which is insane because it was quite filling. Over all I am doing fine with my restart but the last two days have been a little less than peachy because of the hunger and my obviously  mismanaging of my AM calorie intake meaning eating more heavily early on. We will make adjustments as necessary and as long as Wify kicks in her creativity every now and again maybe we will get back down to a fighting weight by the summer. 

That's all I got for today, the support is greatly appreciated so please feel free to comment or email me and for Gods sake keep on reading along! 

As Ever
Me

Cupcake crisis walking Crisscross a weekends review.

Cupcake crisis walking Crisscross a weekends review.

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Over the weekend I was offered a challenge, a challenge in the way of a couple plates of cupcakes, challenge accepted and beat. Sunday my daughter spent some time with her Grandma and upon returning to the nest she came bearing treats "Look  dad, I made these" "awesome honey!" was my reply but I was thinking Oh damn! I dodged the cupcake mines and moved on with my day unimpeded by anything that is food. Its funny because I had just told my wife on Friday that I have hit a point where food is not a distraction for me right now, I view it as fuel and nothing more which does not necessarily mean I am not tempted but it means that I am able to not react and start chowing on the contents of the cupboards when the feeling hits.

Over the weekend I stayed within my calories and got out for a nice walk with my daughters, over all it was a pretty nice weekend and now today Wify has the day off so is home with us for a long weekend. Walking was a huge part of my weight losses on the first go around so with the concept if it ain't broke don't fix it in mind walking has to be a part of this. I do enjoy walking for what it is, it allows me to think, look at the scenery and just get away from things for a time but I also view it as something that I couldn't do for very long time without being in pain so I appreciate the simplicity of just going for a walk these days. There once was a guy that actually thought "why would someone want to just walk" as he watched from his window and I look back at that guy and am sad for him. When you are limited you create excuses and reasons for why you aren't doing things and get somewhat bitter with certain things and all along its the outlook that is creating the bitterness towards a situation that we seemingly have no control over. Walking is an important thing for me and whenever I start getting down on myself I think about it for a moment and decide to go for a walk because once upon a lullaby going for a walk was not an option and I recommend it to anyone starting off on a path to better health.

This weekend also afforded me some time with my bicycles, I don't mean riding, I mean working on them. I have a 1991 Schwinn Crisscross that I picked up some time ago and though I have slowly done some work to this bike it mostly sat waiting for its turn. This weekend I decided to pull it out, install some new bars on it, remove the too small rear rack and "finish" it up so I could call it a useable bike. I would like to install a set of fenders on it but otherwise its done besides some small details like removing the discolored disk on the rear wheel etc and I think it came out pretty good too. A quick ride around the neighborhood proved that it fits me good and is a keeper for sure. If you are interested in more details on the crisscross or would like to check out another blog that I started that is more cycling related, which basically means that I only really write about bikes that I am working on or cycling news etc you can Visit Two Wheels and a Fat Guy HERE and please do!

Over all I am doing well on this restart and the weight is coming off which makes me more than a happy camper, cupcake crisis averted a bike is complete and walking for health is a key element.

Until next we meet, keep on keepin on and all that. 

As Ever
Me

Day something or other.... Get out of my way.

Day something or other.... Get out of my way.

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We're moving right along, my intake for yesterday was 1800 calories on the button, I got an hour and some worth of shoveling snow into the morning followed by some push ups and Calisthenics I am feeling pretty good about how this week is turning out. The one thing that I need to add into my days is more bike time, I mean more riding the trainer, more taking the short loop and I mean working on my bikes that I have collected so that I may either sell them or ride them. Cycling has become such a big part of my life and I neglected that for at least 8 months give or take because of things not in my control getting to me, if they are not in my control why do I let them determine what I do? such is life I suppose when stress enters. 

Me and wify on Mt Sunapee in 2011

Between some calisthenics and the shoveling I am sore right now as I type, my lower back is tight, my abs hurt, the chest is compromised and my shoulders feel like I was boxing for 3 hours, I love this kind of sore! Its the kind of sore that makes you know that the muscles were used, a good solid stretch wakes the body up when you have soreness like this and I am craving more which means we are getting back on track. Working out has always been something I enjoyed, I mean when I was five hundred pounds plus that statement was debatable but just getting up to take a piss was a workout back then and I don't know anyone who would consider taking a piss pleasurable unless you're on a road trip. That feeling during a stretch when you are sore from exercise for me wakes me up, I find myself searching for something to make the rest of my body feel this way, my upper back is not sore right now so some bent rows may be on the menu for today, it truly is amazing how this works.

This gig that I call weight loss has been full of ups and downs and I don't only mean the actually bulk weight, emotionally I have learned a lot about myself along the way and its eye opening in some instances. I am learning that my physical limits are far from what I thought them to be back five years ago when I was much heavier and even at my current weight I am light years from at my highest weight. 

There is a difference between this moment in time and where I was back in late 2007, back then I only had my imagination to think about what being lighter would grant me access to, right now I have solid memories of being 300 pounds and hiking around on Mt Sunapee in NH, or a 30 mile trail ride. As I wrote that last sentence it dawned on me that at 300 pounds I am in awesome shape even if I need to lose more from that point but considering the amount of loose skin involved I would be willing to bet I am not far off of a healthy weight at 300 pounds. Having current memories and photos pushes me harder, when I think back to times when Wify and I would hike to an outlook on a trail not far from our home and how insanely rewarding it was to be able to reach the top of a 3.5 mile ascent and not feel dead but very much alive and NOT out of breath. Sitting at the top of that ascent and eating a packed lunch with my wife has more benefits than anything else could ever give, this is how people should spend their free time and when you are 500 pounds its just not a possibility.

 Making my way back down to 300 pounds and below is not going to be easy but it is necessary because I refuse to miss the mark when I know how to get there, it is a matter of discipline not a matter of not knowing what to do. 

The naysayers and nonbelievers will have to step aside for a while, I have a feeling we're breaking through barriers...

As Ever
Me

Over eating and twitter oh my!

Over eating and twitter oh my!

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Monday has come again and for whatever reason loads of people use Monday as the day to recover from a weekend of bad eating and no exercise, a silly concept but I think we have all done it at least once in our lives.My weekend went as planned for the most part but I did indulge Sunday a tad more than I should have when a friend came by. For dinner I made a Balsamic vinegar chicken dish which is low calorie and very tasty, I will be sharing that recipe soon but with dinner I had a Heineken and my daughter made cake lollipops and ummm yeah its like that. I may or may not have fell down and a couple few of the cake pops may or may not have slipped into my mouth  accidentally with the fall but I am ok! I did not get hurt on my fall so be calm people! but seriously 3 cake pops a Heineken and some extra chicken with dinner was over my calorie limit for the day.

Offsetting the extra calories I did go for a 2 mile walk, this does not mean that it was ok to go over calories for the day! and the scale just shook its head at me when I stepped onto its soulless white plastic body this morning. Like the pet dog who just got caught tearing up a couch cushion I tucked my tail and walked away with eyes drawn at the floor while the scale pointed at me exclaiming "NO!, Bad human" Fuuuck... Its not a big deal but the first time in three or more weeks that I went over my allowed calories and the scale this morning was a reminder that no matter what I must remain vigilant and stay strict with my intake. It is what it is and nada I can do now so no need dwelling on it, I will stick to the plan for today and do a little extra exercise today.

On a different channel we find that Zeusmeatball now has a twitter account @Zeusmeatball, a friend told me that I should make one so I did in the beginning of December and I couldn't figure it all out so it stayed unused until yesterday. Another friend was over and he uses Twitter so I asked him to show me some of the features and it was a duh moment for me because its really kind of easy though I am sure I am still missing some of the features. Please feel free to add me or follow me or whatever you do on twitter there is a link at the top left of the blog, I have 4 followers at the moment and will be using twitter more often now that I have a basic understanding of how it works.

So far this "restart" is going well, I have had the one slip up yesterday and it was not a huge slip so all in all I think we are doing good. Adding regular bike rides back into the schedule will surely help the cause and the K2 will likely be the bike that gets used for now until I drop a few more pounds and get my cycling legs back because let me tell ya, I am not in the shape I was in a year ago as far as my stamina and endurance goes. Regular walks are on the menu for this week as well, Normally I would walk around the lake that I live on and it was a nice mid range walk for me that made me feel like I did something but I am currently walking a 2 mile loop and its about right for feeling that I did something and not over doing it. 

Over all we're doing awesome, feeling awesome and now again I will mention on Twitter so follow @Zeusmeatball if you were interested in whats going on there. 

Thanks for reading along with my walk down a path to better health. 

As Ever
Me

Soup is good for the soul, not bad for my ass either.

Soup is good for the soul, not bad for my ass either.

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Halfway through the week and feeling great, I am officially off of my AM cup of Joe and feeling better early in the days, it really is amazing how eating better foods will do that. Eating better was priority and as I get a handle on that its time to start thinking about some "real" exercise as I have been doing very short rides on the trainer and my Baby Calisthenics. With the more real exercise in mind I have to remember that I have a problem with my shoulder that I need to keep an eye on, I am not sure why but my shoulder hurts and its been that way for a while but getting better so just something to keep an eye on. 

Incorporating daily walks back into my routine is a must, when I dropped most of my weight the first time  around I was walking daily, no excuses, no cold or rain stopped me it was as important as breathing to me and I need to get there again. The problem that I am having is that I either take the toddler out in the cold for a brisk walk in January, wait until the evening and walk the narrow DARK country road and hope that I don't get hit by a car or walk in a mall during the day. I am not driving to a mall that's 20 minutes from my house so its going to have to be one of the other options, and the first time around my other daughter wasn't much older than this one and she walked with me so perhaps we will try that.

On the food side of things, We had a ham bone from Christmas that I stuck in the freezer to make something with and yesterday I decided that I would try a ham bone and white bean soup. I have never in my life made a soup out of a ham bone and beans so this was an experiment as much as a meal and I gotta say I think it turned out awesome! I made stock with the bone, removed all of the remaining ham from said bones added a bag of white beans, a finely diced onion, one medium potato and finished it off with spinach, this was seasoned with black pepper, rosemary, thyme and 2 cloves of crushed and minced garlic. Wify picked up a loaf of french bread to have with it that I stuck in the broiler for a few minutes and man this was some good soup if I do say so myself and very simple as far as ingredients and prep goes. 

We wanted to figure the calories out per cup so we added all of the ingredients together, divided by how many cups were there and I was extremely surprised at the number we came up with, this very hearty soup comes in at about 120 calories per cup. After we all had dinner and sent some to my mother in laws there are about 12 cups left so plenty for me for the rest of the week as lunches etc and I will likely freeze a small container to have next week.

This next statement may be a bit premature but I have to say I feel like I am in a good place and feeling very motivated to keep this going in a good direction. Next on the agenda is to get the walking into my days and come slightly warmer weather climb my ass back onto my bike and hit the trails on a regular basis again, good plan eh? 

With some discipline, dedication, exercise and maybe some luck I am hoping to get back down to a weight where I feel healthy and am able to do everything in my days agenda without issue once again. 

That's all I got for today, make sure to pop back in tomorrow to see where the next installment of as the fat guy turns takes you!

As Ever
Me

Weigh in and its a BIG drop!

Weigh in and its a BIG drop!

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Friday is upon us and I have been weighing myself daily for about 3 weeks now, I figured I would pop in with this weeks loss and its a good one! Since last Friday I weigh 6.2 pounds less and feel pretty good about that number. Keeping my calories in check has been very easy, I would hate to jinx myself by saying that but its the truth, I am just not hungry... ever! incorporating more and more whole foods into my daily intake I am sure is playing a hand in those full and satisfied feelings so the plan is to get back to where I was about a year and a half ago and become that pain in the ass who has very specific dietary requirements, I liked that guy.

The brown truck came yesterday with some goodies!

I blame the good loss this week on getting back into riding on a semi regular basis again, no no, I am not riding outside so much but this trainer is really hitting the spot giving me a no excuse environment to live in. Now I am missing the out doors rides a lot more than I let on but at the same time with a baby in the house I can't really do anything until almost 6pm once the wife lady gets home and this time of year its pretty dark by then not to mention cold. Now I am not some pussy that is afraid to get cold on a ride, in fact I like riding in any weather, even rain! but with the extra weight, being sedentary for a short while and the fact that my knees have been bugging me since it got cold out I am erring on the side of caution and riding the trainer for a bit until I get my legs back. I did buy a set of Castelli knee warmers so that riding in the colder weather is less of a pain in the ass.... um I mean Knees but again, I am going the ease on into the harder workouts route so its the trainer for me... for now.

Focusing on my food has obviously been working for me, throw in the rides on the trainer and I give myself about 2 weeks before I am hitting that trainer for all its worth. This blog has been a huge help to me in the past and I intend on trying to get on here and posting as much as possible so that I have a documented account of what I am doing and what's working, its also good to look back at it when I need a kick in the ass not to mention all of the support from you.

With that you have a Friday post with a weigh in and all! so until next we meet, keep on keepin on and all that jazz.

As ever
Me