At the core of it.. weight loss for the guy I use to know

At the core of it.. weight loss for the guy I use to know

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Sometimes we lose sight of things and others its like we snatch it up by it's throat and handle it immediately, then other times circumstances dictate where the boat goes and it gets me thinking...

I am who I am, and I know I stole that from Popeye but its the truth so I'll use it, but my point is that no matter the circumstances I am who I am. The environment can change and at times environments can change us but at out core we remain. I am the same guy who dropped 229 pounds like it was my job but I have gained a significant amount of that back, and lost it again then gained it back... again, and this cycle is ridiculously unfortunate and infuriating all at the same time. 

I'm capable of eating within my calories, I am capable of exercising (perhaps not up the point that I want to but I can) yet I find myself doing the opposite more times than not lately and well yeah.. I told my wife "After the 1st its on like Donkey Kong baby, I'm losing it again" now I find myself eating less but not counting like I should and I am definitely not exercising as I should be but why?

I compare weight loss/healthy living to a train rolling down the tracks and if you look above you'll see the banner reflects that as its been there almost since conception of this blog. A train takes a lot to get it rolling, chugging along sputtering and spitting making lots of noise, bellowing smoke and dragging the immense weight of itself down the tracks. Slowly but surely it gains momentum, picking up speed and it gets easier for the train to keep rolling until its up to speed and chugging along almost effortlessly, efficiently and I dare you to stop it. 

The thing about trains is that if it does derail its typically disastrous, freight all over the place, rail cars smashed and crashed and all of the momentum is lost. Talking about derailed, I started off with Popeye.. So, my point is that I am the guy that lost all that weight, I am that guy who sputtered and chugged along the tracks and I did it, I was as healthy as I have ever been in my life and well, you guessed it, derailed but I'm thinking that just because I was derailed doesn't mean that I am done for yet I think I've been looking at it that way because of all of the I will use pain for a summery kind of word as to a big part of my lack of momentum again. but I think its time, time to say to hell with it and get back on that horse because the alternative hasn't been so fun. 

At my core I am that guy, the one who loves his bikes, the guy who can hike all day and be happy about it, the very same guy who teamed up on his friend reprimanding him for eating "cloned beef" thats me and I'm tired of wearing this other guy suit and ignoring who I am at my core....

Lets get this train rolling again. 

As Ever

Me

No Gimmicks, just the plain and simple of it.

No Gimmicks, just the plain and simple of it.

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Another day, another post with my calories, its funny actually that this is sort of how I started off writing this blog back at the beginning of 2008, by posting my calories and menu then some random words about said things and here we are again. I do not believe in "Breakfast food" and "Dinner food" etc so you'll see I had a ham and cheese on rye for breakfast, calories in fitting into my allowances is what its about.

Breakfast
2 slices light rye bread        100
.5 oz cheese        55
4oz ham        130
       
2 Dannon light Greek yogurt        160

Lunch       
2 servings pops cereal        240
8 oz 1% milk        110
       
1 Banana        110
1 T peanut butter        100

Dinner      
1 C white rice        200
8oz turky keilbasi        360
       
2 Dannon light Greek yogurt        160
       
4 Brazil nuts        90

Total 1815

In addition to the calories I drink 1 gallon of green tea per day and a minimum of another half gallon of straight H2O which is more times than  not another gallon of water so I won't post my fluid intakes unless it was low for a particular day, Simple right? it is what it is and I have a goal to reach by August 1st, its on.

As Ever
Me

The girl in the red dress.

The girl in the red dress.

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I decided to log into the blog after someone that I have known since childhood said to me "I read your blog and I'm waiting for an update" I had no idea that people I knew actually read this blog because I tried to keep it as out of that loop as possible but here goes, an update. 

When I say there is a lot going on in my personal life I am understating, which honestly sounds like an excuse to me but as I have stated before I am indeed a stress/emotional eater which I'm working on but for now it wins that fight more times than not and I find myself lit from the front by a refrigerator light at times. My success with dropping weight paired with this whole regain bullshit that I've allowed myself to slide back into just because focusing on me is rougher these days has got to stop and I've "restarted" so many times in the last 2 years that I could be the poster boy for yo yo dieting at this point. There are days when I'm all like "Bring it on, I am the god of hellfire and everything health bows to me bitches! I got this" Then there are times that I feel more like Eore from Winnie the pooh and it goes to shit, I suppose I'm not alone in that kind of thing but damn its gotta let up sometimes... or. 

The day that this person I've known forever stated that she reads my blog I met a friend of hers and I didn't say anything at the time but this friend of hers forced me to think about this whole walk down the yellow brick road to health I've been on in a different way, the way I use to see it. Talking to this person reminded me that the attitude in which you approach a situation is possibly more important than than the process itself in a way. Though we only spoke briefly, I learned that she had lost 90 pounds and was a kettlebell instructor, her attitude and positive outlook stuck with me more than she probably realized in that moment. Over the last week I have been reflecting on a lot of things and decided that its time to take my body and health back from the negativity that currently holds the keys with an attitude change.

Life is too short and we never know what cards we will be dealt at any given moment, sometimes we get pocket aces, win the huge pot then happily ever after and other times we lose the farm, the key is that whatever we are handed that we stay the course. A blip on the radar in the grand scheme, a short conversation with a person who I know not much about other than she was really positive and dealt with some weight loss/health tuning of her own forced a week of reflecting on my part and here I am, with an update.

My excel sheet was dusted off and the salter scale is on the counter, I am heading out to the grocery store for some fresh stuff to eat after I click publish, Its time to find that guy who use to be as positive as that girl in the red dress again.

Thats all I got for today.

As Ever
Me 

Day 1, an inch at a time... Kicking and screaming if I must.

Day 1, an inch at a time... Kicking and screaming if I must.

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Baby steps.. that's what they say right? This oh woe is me shit doesn't look good on me so I've decided that I am going to try and pull that old me.. err or is it the new me? or maybe the new old me, well whatever it is hes coming back out in the front of the line. Its hard, I won't lie but when has it been easy? so if I drag myself an inch at a time eventually that will be a foot, then a mile then.... 

I am tired of this shit, I am tired of being tired and I am aggravated with myself for allowing the back pedaling with my health and weight, in that order because with good health comes the weight loss. I was once a completely sedentary 500 pound man, I became an extremely active 300 pound super hero and I have slowly but surely inched my way back up to over 400 pounds and inactive. No fucking way am I going to let myself stay here, I deserve better and like I said, if I have to drag my ass an inch at a time so be it. 

There will be slips, there will be days that I don't feel the way I feel as I write this but working through those times is what I need to relearn to do because if I don't I let people down and not just myself. When I started this blog I was completely lost, it was an experiment as much as a desperate man forcing a change so that death was not peeking into his windows every night and this time around I have a little more experience and I have to apply that to my daily so that we're back where we need to be.

Today I decided that this would be my Day 1.

Today I am recommitting myself to myself.

Today I take back what I worked so hard to get and what I deserve to have. 

This train is no longer idle, please step aside, I would hate to run over any innocent bystanders.. 

As Ever
Me

Fat guy issues..

Fat guy issues..

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When we know what to do, when we are fully aware of how to do it, when most of the tools needed are available and still the focus is not there what is the solution to that riddle? This is the place that I am in currently, I just cannot stay focused on the task at hand for more than a few days at a time before I find myself standing in front of the fridge staring in as if its the ark of the covenant, which didn't work out too well for the Germans in the Indiana Jones movie. I think back to that day in 2007 when I decided that I would start writing in this very blog, when I decided that enough was enough and weighing so much was not fun and games and I wonder how I was so focused. 

Fear, I was driven by fear back then, I was also driven by the anonymity that came with a blossoming blogger writing a blog and not knowing if anyone was actually reading it, in other words, no pressure. This blog played a huge part in my success and I believe that whole heartedly, there just is no denying that being able to lay it all out there helped to drive me into success. We need to get there again, no matter how hard I try I just cannot seem to get that eagle eye focus that I had when I first started losing weight and getting healthier and it bothers me more than I let on to anyone in my personal life or here when I write on this blog.   

Since I started writing this blog there are two people that were driving forces for me in this online world of weight loss blogging that have passed away. They struggled like I do with figuring out a way to stay focused and when I learned of their passing on each occasion I cried. Did I cry because someone that I had come to know had passed away struggling with weight issues? or was it because I was on a path not so different than theirs? maybe a combination of both? I don't know but it impacted me greatly.

This blog has served me well, I have met people that I call friends now, I have learned a lot about myself and fueling ones body and I have it here to look back on. I am going to try to get back in here posting more regularly again because that fear is creeping back in slowly and it sort of makes my ass look big so I need to get away from it again. 

Anyone that says "just stop eating" or looks at people that struggle with weight loss in a negative or demeaning way needs to reevaluate their out look on the subject because its not that simple, if it were we would all be walking around looking amazing and blogs like this wouldn't exist. Cut us fatties a break would ya? we're trying, even if it doesn't appear to be that way, we are and contrary to popular belief its not a party, this shit sucks.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it, I'm trying.. I suppose its all that can be expected of anyone. 

As Ever

Me

Weighing in on weighing in. A less profound but more factual post from your favorite fat man.

Weighing in on weighing in. A less profound but more factual post from your favorite fat man.

calorie counting lost 200 pounds walking for weighe loss Weigh in

So a couple weeks ago I weighed in at 403.6 pounds on my scale that only goes up to 400 pounds so I questioned its accuracy from the start but at the same time seeing a number was good for the mind. After that day I didn't get another weight to show up so my questioning it was warranted but since I am a gotta see the numbers kind of fella my lovely wife went out and got us a new scale that  goes to 450 pounds... eeeeeek! I never thought a scale that robust would be needed again but alas, here we are.

In the beginning of the week I weighed 404.6 pounds and this morning I busted through that 400 pound barrier and weighed in at 399.6 pounds. I will give it another week before I celebrate getting out of the 400's but damn I gotta say its a weight lifted off of my shoulders and I mean quite literally along with the figurative part of that statement. 

I have been walking daily 1.8 miles on my "short walk" and a more average 2.3 miles but at least twice per week I do my "long walk" which is 3.2 miles. My calorie intake is @ 1800 per day currently and will remain there until I stop dropping weight. Evening rides with my daughter have slowed down since she started school again but I am trying to get them going again before it gets too cold for her to ride. 

I am feeling like myself again, focused, on point, determined and disciplined with everything that I do. Food is once again merely fuel for my body instead of a "treat" or something to "reward" myself with  and I am embarrassed along with aggravated at myself for allowing things not exactly in my control to beat me back into an unhealthy way of living. 

I am determined to get back down to my low weight and beyond..

As Ever
Me

Flying blind on a rocket cycle...

Flying blind on a rocket cycle...

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I have been doing this with the Bodymedia arm band for 22 days now, I have been sticking to walking and eating right for about a week past that and though I know that I am doing everything right I had no gauge because my scale checks out at 400 pounds. Frustrating much? damn right it is, working my ass off but not knowing where the progress or lack of progress is is a little annoying. The 1980 flick Flash Gordon (one of my favorite flicks) came to mind, there is a line in that movie where he says that hes flying blind on a rocket cycle when talking to Prince Vultan and its how I've felt.

Until this morning...

Hopped onto the scale this morning and the little spinning circles were going to stop on "E" again so I barely looked at down but when it stopped t was not an E, no it was not, not today it was a 403.6. So I got on again and waddaya know, 403.6 again and with that I have something to go off to measure progress without looking into the mirror and thinking "I look a little less puffy" so I am pleased with this event this morning. I am taken back to a post from when I started dropping weight in the beginning of 2008 and its funny how clear I remember writing that post. I did not have a scale back then and when I finally got one that would hold me I was 511 pounds, I remember being happy that I was 511 pounds and I mentioned in the post how excited I was and its again how I feel this morning.

I am very much addicted to checking my weight when I am on, Hey! I like to know my progress what can I say? so knowing that I am today weighing in at 403.6 pounds I have a start point, a line in the sand if you will and its time to start crushing it again... hey hey no fat jokes! I crush lots of things but this weight is coming down and the plan is to get it back down to 300 then reevaluate from there. 

I will continue to do what I am doing because its obviously working, I am back on the scale, I feel better than I have in a year and thats enough. I am doing my part now my body needs to keep on letting go of the weight and we will get back to where we need to be and I can get on with not being as giant as I am/was again.

Today I will go on my walk, today I will go on my evening bike ride with my daughter and today I will eat within my calorie limits, see ya back at 300 pounds!

That's all I got for today

As Ever
Me

Do or do not, there is no try..

Do or do not, there is no try..

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This weekend went well where my calories and exercise are the subject, Saturday was an awesome day all around that ended with a bike ride with my eldest daughter and Sunday ended with fishing and a walk in a park that's local to us. I am finding keeping myself on task lately easier than its been in a good long while, I am again eating for fuel instead of recreation and that's huge!

Saturday I dodged pizza, I passed on cup cakes, said nah none for me to cookies. decided against ice cream and honestly besides the pizza all of that was pretty easy. My calories are where they should be and I have walked almost every day for the last 3 weeks, I am back on my bike in the order of after dinner rides with my daughter and I setup a longer ride with a friend and his kid for this coming weekend, I am sure I will be damning the cold weather soon enough as I pull my bike trainer out again.... I hope. 

A shot of my bike by the water from a couple nights ago.

I try to snap a few pics when we stop but honestly I am enjoying the rides again so my daughter is actually asking me to snap pics of "our rides" meaning the bikes so I do have a few. I will try and do my part and keep this trend going... wait.. scratch that, I will do my part to keep things going in this directions because in the words of Yoda "Do or do not, there is no try" so we'll go with that. 

So all in all I seem to be on a decent little run here, I feel better than I have in a while and its getting easier to go for my walks with the kids. I still don't know my exact weight as my scale is limited but I can't bee too much more than its limit at this point so soon I will have a weight to post on here and start my progress downward again with my motorcycle comparison weight images.

Until the next episode of as the fat guy turns... tune in to see bike rides, walks and fishing while a fat dude gets smaller... again....

As Ever
Me

A new week

A new week

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We have a week behind us, but its not just a week its a successful week where my health is concerned. I stuck to my calories all week and throughout the weekend and I am moving more again, I am going to admit something because my blog has always been about accountability. I have a scale, it weighs up to 400 pounds, when I bought this scale I had the option to buy one that went to 450 pounds but in my wildest dreams I never thought I would see even 350 pounds never mind 400 and I find myself unable to weigh myself at home currently. Yep, I am more than 400 pounds currently and not very happy about it so I am indeed weighing myself every couple days waiting for that scale to pop off a number for me to go off of but for now I am as they say flying blind. 

I am not much more than 400 but I am above because my scale gives me a "E" I will continue to do what I am doing, logging my food, walking daily and getting my fluids in and sooner than later I am guessing that scale will give me a number. 

A shot of the moon over the lake I was fishing Saturday.

From Friday to Sunday I stayed active running errands and fishing, I skipped going out to a Polynesian place on Saturday night with my father in law mostly because looking at their menu it was a lot of fried foods and "Chinese" style dishes read: like Chinese fast food and since I have done so well I wanted it to remain that way. I have a walk planned for today some time and maybe some fishing so staying active is definitely on my agenda and I am bringing it back to basics with the walking because it works! 

when I began down this road to a healthier life I walked, I walked some more and then I walked some more, then it wasn't because I thought it to be an awesome weight loss tool (I sort of did) but it was because it was what I could muster being 500 plus pounds. This time around its a combination of the two, walking is something that I can do with my daughter and we both enjoy it, walking allows me to basically have an hour long conversation with her while we do something physical together and well to be honest its at my current pay grade so to speak.

Walking, counting calories, staying focused on the task at hand is my job right now, not because I want to do it, not because I should do it but because I need to do it.... so I will. 

the cycling like a madman will come back in due time... until then its just me and my walking with some light biking tossed in. 

Until next time.

As Ever
Me

Daily Report 4

Daily Report 4

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Starting to feel like a broken record because I am being so consistent lately but that's a good thing right?!  Bodymedia says that I ate 1835 calories and I fell a little short on my steps yesterday but that's because I missed my afternoon walk so I will try and make up for it today a little bit. Instead of writing it daily lets just assume that I am hydrating enough with a gallon and a half to 2 gallons of fluids per day and over all I am feeling pretty good which is different from how its been the last couple months or so. 

I did go out for another walk around the lake stopping at the open spots to toss a line in the water when I came across them, not a single bite last night but the sunset more than made up for the lack of actual fishing. My daughter came along on her bike and over all its been a nice way to wind down my days so I shall continue to do it.

Over all I am feeling pretty good about how things are going thus far, I am not overly hungry at all and meal planning is coming back to me so for the most part I am right where I want to be. I do want to switch back over to mostly whole foods as that seemed to be what was the ticket for me on the last go around so that's in the plans too.

I've not set any "goals" or "rewards" for myself as my goal is to be healthy again and my rewards will be the things that I am missing out on now as a result of my backsliding. 

As Ever
Me

Be your own hero dammit.

Be your own hero dammit.

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When we set our minds to something, we can accomplish almost anything at all in life, I truly believe that statement wholeheartedly. 

Motivation, now that is the key because without proper motivation it is very easy to lose sight of the end game, but how about of you made it to the end game and slid back? then what? We all struggle with things in life, for some of us its money, others its health and that list goes on and on and on. When it comes down to it ain't no one gonna do shit for you in life and why should they? if you do not do it for yourself its just not going to get done and when we can realize this all of the things that make us smile all start falling together until one day we're standing at the top of a peak looking down at the world that was once so much smaller than it is now.

Having positive role models is an awesome tool! I know all too well how strong the feeling can be when you are reaching to be like someone or are attempting to emulate what someone has done but I find myself asking why lately. Why? why does it need to be somewhere else that we find strength? why does inspiration need to be found in others? why? Find it in yourself and it will be ever lasting and I believe this to be key because if you are finding inspiration in yourself then we are forced to hold ourselves more accountable, we are forced to make better choices in whatever we do not only because it effects us directly but because you want to be the best you can for that person that finds you an inspiration. 

That person is You..

Be your own fuckin' hero dammit, put that cape on every day and hunt down everything that makes your struggle difficult and work through it, kick down the doors and demand whats yours. When you can be your own hero you will work to impress that guy and he will work to impress you, it will become a viscous cycle of trying to one up each others awesomeness until one day you will look back at what once was and be satisfied with what you have accomplished. 

what YOU have accomplished.... 

Be your own hero dammit....

As Ever
Me

Suffer, it is the only option.

Suffer, it is the only option.

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See that wagon over yonder? yeah, the one that I fell off of about a week ago, that's the one, keep your eye on it because I am hoping back on. When stress enters stage left its devastating for my ass, I immediately go to the "stress eating" and nothing helps it. Figuring out how to deal with stress in a different way has to be a priority for me as it is how do they say? my down fall. 

Not getting into exactly the source of stress because its nothing that I can fix or change, I need to change the how I deal with it factor more than the stress itself because life will always include stress on one level or another. I am not making excuses for my lack of control with the eating and I am not blaming "stress" I am just straight up stating the why part of the equation that lead to a screwed week of poor choices when it came to my intake.

Me and my beard full of ice.

My poor Truck

My driveway after using the snow blower and its still not down to black top! to give you a point of reference, that's a Ford Expedition and the snow is higher than the tire.

With that said, I have ridden the trainer more this week than I have all year and with the snow that came down over the weekend I haven't stopped moving with all of the shoveling but that will not make up for the lack of discipline in the refrigerator department. When my weight loss is the subject my intake is more important than any exercise that happens, from the beginning I lose weight faster when I eat within my calories and walk at least a mile 3-4 times per week and this has to go back into place as my basic program.

Making sure that my calorie limit is not disrespected will be my main focus in the coming weeks, I will also be utilizing the trainer and walking to get some movement into each day. I was talking to Wify last night and told her that I really wished that I could figure out why as soon as stress pops its head into my daily that I immediately turn to my old pal food, it is the most frustrating aspect of my life. No matter how hard I try, no matter how far I come or how much weight I drop when it comes to stress in my life the same fix pops into the picture, snatch something up and shove it down my throat, fuck....

This whole weight loss thang is not a race so it truly is just a start over from now kind of a feeling but I have to tell you, looking back at photos of me at 305 may as well be a kick to the throat because its where I want to be. Looking at my closet full of a wardrobe full of clothes that just don't fit me currently pisses me off and yet stress pops in? you know where to find me.

Only one thing to do and that's to put my big boy pants on stop acting like a Nancy and harden the fuck up, allowing food to have this hold on me is weak and fighting with that fact is not easy but its my life and weighing close to 400 pounds is NOT in the fucking plan. 

That's all I got for today, time to ride the trainer. 

As Ever

Me

36 hours no sleep and some bike talk from the fat guy.

36 hours no sleep and some bike talk from the fat guy.

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We are doing well and are on plan as far as the eating and drinking are concerned but Sunday I woke up at 11AM because of staying up late and it threw off two whole days. Sunday night when I went to bed I just laid there, staring at the ceiling thinking about bicycle light options because of a post on a bike forum I read. An hour later I decided that since I was just laying there I may as well get up because sleep was not an option and before I knew it 6:00 AM Monday morning was here. It would appear that an all nighter was the result of a late morning and a restless night, no worries. I'll just take a nap with the baby when she goes down and it will be a meh kind of day but at that point my options were slim so onward the day went. 

 My Sigma micro led mounted on the back of my Giro helmet. 

  

 

 

I have a white one for the front that was not on the helmet when I took these images.

The school called and said short day for my other kids so there goes the nap, oh well and I ended staying up for 10 minutes shy of 36 hours from Sunday morning until Monday night. I did manage to stick to my calories yesterday but I did not exercise a single bit and though I slept a solid 7 hours last night I feel it today and think its going to be a two night sleep fix. 

The weather outside has been frightful, so working out inside has not been delightful let it snow let it... no wait.. sub zero temps are replaced with what? rain of course.. it is currently 34 degrees outside at about half past noon New England time and if the rain holds off I may just hop on the K2 for my short "workout route". I do not mind riding when its cold, I don't mind riding when its dark, I don't even mind riding when its cold AND dark but when you add wet into that mix I'll pass and as long as the rain is not falling when the boss lady gets home later I will go for that ride and if not then it's the trainer.

I need to start riding more often so that I have my riding legs when the weather warms up and I am looking for regular rail trail rides again because if I miss the spring season I will not be a happy camper. My weight is coming down and I feel much better than I did 3 months ago, I don't see why I can't be back to a decent weight by say? June and that's the date that I gave wify for me to shave this critter hanging onto my jaw otherwise known as the "puppy" or my beard.

Over all everything is going well though I would like to add more exercise and I am feeling good about where things are headed. Thanks for following along with me while I drop the weight from my bones and get back to where I was so that I can get to where I was heading when I started writing this blog. 

Tune in tomorrow for the newest edition of as the fat guy turns.

As Ever
Me

In my best Richard Dawson voice.. The Scale says!

In my best Richard Dawson voice.. The Scale says!

calorie counting lost 200 pounds Weigh in Weight Loss

So today is Friday, big secret eh? but it means that I post my weight for the blog today and we do have a loss this week but I am skeptical at how accurate it is and at the same time it doesn't really matter if its off a tad as the trend is down. Last week I came in at 399.0 pounds and that was a loss from the week previous and this week am down to 396.4 so a 2.6 pound loss for the week and I'll take it. Yesterday morning I was a pound lighter than I was this morning, scale variance? fluctuation? perhaps I need to visit the little boys room? I don't care really and its a big part of the weight loss game because we depend on that number each week to drop and when it doesn't it can wreck our whole week.

This 2013 Honda Raptor weighs in at 396 pounds.

As long as my week to week trend is down I don't care about the fluctuations too much unless its a huge number and even then I realize that I may have lifted weights or not drank enough the day before so it happens. I have been at this game for a long time now, this is going to be how I need to live in order to keep the weight off and I'm cool with that. When I got down to 305 pounds I was on cruise control, I knew what to eat and when to eat it in order to stay where I needed to and keep on losing pounds while getting healthier. Enter stage left copious amounts of stress and to a guy like me that reaches for the nachos as soon as stress peeks its head out that's a death sentence.

I do believe that I have this all under control once again and the weight is coming down and I am down about 15 pounds since just before the beginning of January so I am pleased with that but I need to stay focused and this blog helps me do that. Somehow putting it out there for Joe Public to have a looksie at makes me stay in line almost as if I fail a crowd will gather around my house and point while laughing hysterically, which has never happened yet thank goodness but you get the point. 

The bottom line is that I need to keep my shit together and get back down to where I was so that I can continue being around for my kids and my wife for a very very long time. Yes yes, I know, do it for yourself Man! I think at this point if you have read any of my blog you know that I understand that part of it and I am very much in tune with that fact and the bottom line is that I have not done everything in life that I want to and if its cut short because I am unable to control my intake or am too fat to do something I will have failed in this health venture.

I'm back, this is what matters, I don't think anyone should get in my way as they are likely to get run over.

That's all I got for today.

As Ever
Me

Cupcake crisis walking Crisscross a weekends review.

Cupcake crisis walking Crisscross a weekends review.

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Over the weekend I was offered a challenge, a challenge in the way of a couple plates of cupcakes, challenge accepted and beat. Sunday my daughter spent some time with her Grandma and upon returning to the nest she came bearing treats "Look  dad, I made these" "awesome honey!" was my reply but I was thinking Oh damn! I dodged the cupcake mines and moved on with my day unimpeded by anything that is food. Its funny because I had just told my wife on Friday that I have hit a point where food is not a distraction for me right now, I view it as fuel and nothing more which does not necessarily mean I am not tempted but it means that I am able to not react and start chowing on the contents of the cupboards when the feeling hits.

Over the weekend I stayed within my calories and got out for a nice walk with my daughters, over all it was a pretty nice weekend and now today Wify has the day off so is home with us for a long weekend. Walking was a huge part of my weight losses on the first go around so with the concept if it ain't broke don't fix it in mind walking has to be a part of this. I do enjoy walking for what it is, it allows me to think, look at the scenery and just get away from things for a time but I also view it as something that I couldn't do for very long time without being in pain so I appreciate the simplicity of just going for a walk these days. There once was a guy that actually thought "why would someone want to just walk" as he watched from his window and I look back at that guy and am sad for him. When you are limited you create excuses and reasons for why you aren't doing things and get somewhat bitter with certain things and all along its the outlook that is creating the bitterness towards a situation that we seemingly have no control over. Walking is an important thing for me and whenever I start getting down on myself I think about it for a moment and decide to go for a walk because once upon a lullaby going for a walk was not an option and I recommend it to anyone starting off on a path to better health.

This weekend also afforded me some time with my bicycles, I don't mean riding, I mean working on them. I have a 1991 Schwinn Crisscross that I picked up some time ago and though I have slowly done some work to this bike it mostly sat waiting for its turn. This weekend I decided to pull it out, install some new bars on it, remove the too small rear rack and "finish" it up so I could call it a useable bike. I would like to install a set of fenders on it but otherwise its done besides some small details like removing the discolored disk on the rear wheel etc and I think it came out pretty good too. A quick ride around the neighborhood proved that it fits me good and is a keeper for sure. If you are interested in more details on the crisscross or would like to check out another blog that I started that is more cycling related, which basically means that I only really write about bikes that I am working on or cycling news etc you can Visit Two Wheels and a Fat Guy HERE and please do!

Over all I am doing well on this restart and the weight is coming off which makes me more than a happy camper, cupcake crisis averted a bike is complete and walking for health is a key element.

Until next we meet, keep on keepin on and all that. 

As Ever
Me

Day something or other.... Get out of my way.

Day something or other.... Get out of my way.

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We're moving right along, my intake for yesterday was 1800 calories on the button, I got an hour and some worth of shoveling snow into the morning followed by some push ups and Calisthenics I am feeling pretty good about how this week is turning out. The one thing that I need to add into my days is more bike time, I mean more riding the trainer, more taking the short loop and I mean working on my bikes that I have collected so that I may either sell them or ride them. Cycling has become such a big part of my life and I neglected that for at least 8 months give or take because of things not in my control getting to me, if they are not in my control why do I let them determine what I do? such is life I suppose when stress enters. 

Me and wify on Mt Sunapee in 2011

Between some calisthenics and the shoveling I am sore right now as I type, my lower back is tight, my abs hurt, the chest is compromised and my shoulders feel like I was boxing for 3 hours, I love this kind of sore! Its the kind of sore that makes you know that the muscles were used, a good solid stretch wakes the body up when you have soreness like this and I am craving more which means we are getting back on track. Working out has always been something I enjoyed, I mean when I was five hundred pounds plus that statement was debatable but just getting up to take a piss was a workout back then and I don't know anyone who would consider taking a piss pleasurable unless you're on a road trip. That feeling during a stretch when you are sore from exercise for me wakes me up, I find myself searching for something to make the rest of my body feel this way, my upper back is not sore right now so some bent rows may be on the menu for today, it truly is amazing how this works.

This gig that I call weight loss has been full of ups and downs and I don't only mean the actually bulk weight, emotionally I have learned a lot about myself along the way and its eye opening in some instances. I am learning that my physical limits are far from what I thought them to be back five years ago when I was much heavier and even at my current weight I am light years from at my highest weight. 

There is a difference between this moment in time and where I was back in late 2007, back then I only had my imagination to think about what being lighter would grant me access to, right now I have solid memories of being 300 pounds and hiking around on Mt Sunapee in NH, or a 30 mile trail ride. As I wrote that last sentence it dawned on me that at 300 pounds I am in awesome shape even if I need to lose more from that point but considering the amount of loose skin involved I would be willing to bet I am not far off of a healthy weight at 300 pounds. Having current memories and photos pushes me harder, when I think back to times when Wify and I would hike to an outlook on a trail not far from our home and how insanely rewarding it was to be able to reach the top of a 3.5 mile ascent and not feel dead but very much alive and NOT out of breath. Sitting at the top of that ascent and eating a packed lunch with my wife has more benefits than anything else could ever give, this is how people should spend their free time and when you are 500 pounds its just not a possibility.

 Making my way back down to 300 pounds and below is not going to be easy but it is necessary because I refuse to miss the mark when I know how to get there, it is a matter of discipline not a matter of not knowing what to do. 

The naysayers and nonbelievers will have to step aside for a while, I have a feeling we're breaking through barriers...

As Ever
Me

Over eating and twitter oh my!

Over eating and twitter oh my!

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Monday has come again and for whatever reason loads of people use Monday as the day to recover from a weekend of bad eating and no exercise, a silly concept but I think we have all done it at least once in our lives.My weekend went as planned for the most part but I did indulge Sunday a tad more than I should have when a friend came by. For dinner I made a Balsamic vinegar chicken dish which is low calorie and very tasty, I will be sharing that recipe soon but with dinner I had a Heineken and my daughter made cake lollipops and ummm yeah its like that. I may or may not have fell down and a couple few of the cake pops may or may not have slipped into my mouth  accidentally with the fall but I am ok! I did not get hurt on my fall so be calm people! but seriously 3 cake pops a Heineken and some extra chicken with dinner was over my calorie limit for the day.

Offsetting the extra calories I did go for a 2 mile walk, this does not mean that it was ok to go over calories for the day! and the scale just shook its head at me when I stepped onto its soulless white plastic body this morning. Like the pet dog who just got caught tearing up a couch cushion I tucked my tail and walked away with eyes drawn at the floor while the scale pointed at me exclaiming "NO!, Bad human" Fuuuck... Its not a big deal but the first time in three or more weeks that I went over my allowed calories and the scale this morning was a reminder that no matter what I must remain vigilant and stay strict with my intake. It is what it is and nada I can do now so no need dwelling on it, I will stick to the plan for today and do a little extra exercise today.

On a different channel we find that Zeusmeatball now has a twitter account @Zeusmeatball, a friend told me that I should make one so I did in the beginning of December and I couldn't figure it all out so it stayed unused until yesterday. Another friend was over and he uses Twitter so I asked him to show me some of the features and it was a duh moment for me because its really kind of easy though I am sure I am still missing some of the features. Please feel free to add me or follow me or whatever you do on twitter there is a link at the top left of the blog, I have 4 followers at the moment and will be using twitter more often now that I have a basic understanding of how it works.

So far this "restart" is going well, I have had the one slip up yesterday and it was not a huge slip so all in all I think we are doing good. Adding regular bike rides back into the schedule will surely help the cause and the K2 will likely be the bike that gets used for now until I drop a few more pounds and get my cycling legs back because let me tell ya, I am not in the shape I was in a year ago as far as my stamina and endurance goes. Regular walks are on the menu for this week as well, Normally I would walk around the lake that I live on and it was a nice mid range walk for me that made me feel like I did something but I am currently walking a 2 mile loop and its about right for feeling that I did something and not over doing it. 

Over all we're doing awesome, feeling awesome and now again I will mention on Twitter so follow @Zeusmeatball if you were interested in whats going on there. 

Thanks for reading along with my walk down a path to better health. 

As Ever
Me

Soup is good for the soul, not bad for my ass either.

Soup is good for the soul, not bad for my ass either.

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Halfway through the week and feeling great, I am officially off of my AM cup of Joe and feeling better early in the days, it really is amazing how eating better foods will do that. Eating better was priority and as I get a handle on that its time to start thinking about some "real" exercise as I have been doing very short rides on the trainer and my Baby Calisthenics. With the more real exercise in mind I have to remember that I have a problem with my shoulder that I need to keep an eye on, I am not sure why but my shoulder hurts and its been that way for a while but getting better so just something to keep an eye on. 

Incorporating daily walks back into my routine is a must, when I dropped most of my weight the first time  around I was walking daily, no excuses, no cold or rain stopped me it was as important as breathing to me and I need to get there again. The problem that I am having is that I either take the toddler out in the cold for a brisk walk in January, wait until the evening and walk the narrow DARK country road and hope that I don't get hit by a car or walk in a mall during the day. I am not driving to a mall that's 20 minutes from my house so its going to have to be one of the other options, and the first time around my other daughter wasn't much older than this one and she walked with me so perhaps we will try that.

On the food side of things, We had a ham bone from Christmas that I stuck in the freezer to make something with and yesterday I decided that I would try a ham bone and white bean soup. I have never in my life made a soup out of a ham bone and beans so this was an experiment as much as a meal and I gotta say I think it turned out awesome! I made stock with the bone, removed all of the remaining ham from said bones added a bag of white beans, a finely diced onion, one medium potato and finished it off with spinach, this was seasoned with black pepper, rosemary, thyme and 2 cloves of crushed and minced garlic. Wify picked up a loaf of french bread to have with it that I stuck in the broiler for a few minutes and man this was some good soup if I do say so myself and very simple as far as ingredients and prep goes. 

We wanted to figure the calories out per cup so we added all of the ingredients together, divided by how many cups were there and I was extremely surprised at the number we came up with, this very hearty soup comes in at about 120 calories per cup. After we all had dinner and sent some to my mother in laws there are about 12 cups left so plenty for me for the rest of the week as lunches etc and I will likely freeze a small container to have next week.

This next statement may be a bit premature but I have to say I feel like I am in a good place and feeling very motivated to keep this going in a good direction. Next on the agenda is to get the walking into my days and come slightly warmer weather climb my ass back onto my bike and hit the trails on a regular basis again, good plan eh? 

With some discipline, dedication, exercise and maybe some luck I am hoping to get back down to a weight where I feel healthy and am able to do everything in my days agenda without issue once again. 

That's all I got for today, make sure to pop back in tomorrow to see where the next installment of as the fat guy turns takes you!

As Ever
Me

Vegetables and weighing in.

Vegetables and weighing in.

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I did not get a chance to post yesterday as life got busy but I wanted to get on today and get some chicken scratch added to the blog so here goes. I did well on the intake for Friday and ended up with a total of 1775 calories for the day which felt good, it didn't take long for me to stop with the hungry feelings so this is awesome.

After flipping through netflix last night I found a documentary called "Fat sick and nearly dead" which follows a man from Australia on a Juice diet trying to lose weight and cure a chronic illness that he has. It was late but I figured what the hell and dialed the program up, I have to say that it was interesting if not obvious that he would drop weight bu juicing only but as I was a vegetarian many years ago it does hold validity as an option. After watching the program I found myself searching the web for some info on the subject and will be exploring a sort of hybrid plan which incorperates some of the theories and ideas that I have about how to drop weight and some of what was said in the show.

 

Sometimes we can be inspired by something that we did not expect to try, something new even if its an old idea that already been tested, meaning if I was a vegetarian so long ago why would it not work again? and why have I not explored the option since starting on my drop the pounds campaign? I suppose its as I said, we gain inspiration or get an idea sometimes randomly.   

 

On an different note, this morning I was able to weigh myself which is awesome even if I did not appreciate the number that I saw. This coming Friday I will post what I weigh at that point and will also reveal what I weighed this morning through letting you know what the loss for the week is as long as there IS a loss. Instead of giving the number right now in this post lets just call it a wake up call and shit just got real, not that it wasn't real already with much of my wardrobe not fitting but seeing the number plain as day was a kick to the face that I needed to open my eyes.

 

Wrapping up I wanted to say that I will not let anything get in my way, I need to take the weight off and I need to do it in lieu of anything happening around me or any negativity that flows in my direction because without the discipline to let it roll from my back the other options are not good. I do not believe that everybody understands just how fragile the situation is and how negativity effects outcome of any given day, but we must stay on point because no one else can do it for us, we ate the food thats hanging from our bones and we need to be the one to take it off.  

 

Random perhaps, maybe not, either way the train is rollin again.

As Ever
Me

Will today be your Day one?

Will today be your Day one?

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This morning I woke up to a ton of email and a lot of messages on my facebook page which I encourage you to add me if it pleases you! that AOL article is to blame and it has put me into a magnificent mood! yes folks I just said magnificent! I have mentioned this before, I started this blog literally as a place to put my progress or back steps in a more public kind of way and it has become so much more than that in the last 983 days which wow! I've been at this for 983 days?? When I began down this road I wasn't sure what would come of it, I did not know if it would be a failed attempt or if I would be down to my goal weight in record time and for whatever reason it stuck this time and here I sit in my plush couch typing a blog and there is an article on a website called "Thatsfit" with me in it! I tell you that I can clearly remember writing my first post titled Day 1 and never did I think that I would be associated with something called Thatsfit, perhaps "ThatsFAT" but not the other.


My Thursday went very well, my calories came in at 1810 which is just about perfect and I went over because of having a pear around 8:30 last night so I am cool with the slightly over. When I was at the gym I decided that I hadn't been on the arc-trainer in a while so I did my 20-20-20 routine for an hour of cardio. The 20-20-20 is 20 minutes on the stationary bike, 20 minutes on the arc-trainer finishing up with 20 on the treadmill, I did change it up a bit because I did 25 on the bike and only 15 on the treadmill but a good solid cardio workout was had either way. My fluid intake was on par with just under 2 gallons of fluids between the H2O and green tea so hydrated I am and as I type I am already down a little more than a half gallon for Friday. I will not have a chance to get to the gym today so it looks like a bike ride around the lake is in my future which is more than ok with me, in fact I have come to enjoy my bike rides more than almost anything that I could be doing, almost.

I enjoy what I have done for myself and for my family, a two hour walk through a virtual world to kill a notorious monster has turned into a bike ride to the playground with the kids. Instead of a sack full of sodium laced processed meats and cheeses on a corn tortilla...er on 7 corn tortillas I eat fresh grilled salmon and sweet potatoes, Mangoes and green tea, the flavor difference is quite amazing if you don't believe me try for yourself! The fact that I can now decide that a walk around the lake or a hike on a local trail would be a good way to spend my afternoon is light years away from hoping that I was going to make it up the stairs before my heart grenaded inside my chest and ending up with a hole in the side of my house so that the firemen could drag me out.

When you were once 534 pounds and limited by that fact things look a little different that they do from a closer to normal weight, somehow things seem impossible when simply walking up a flight of stairs is a huge task. For the longest time I was in pain, I don't mean emotionally though that was there too, I had a back injury and 3 disks that were just not the way that they should have been after a work accident and something like that controls the way we feel mentally and obviously physically. Having been through an injury like that left me feeling helpless to get out of my own way and there were times that I physically could not get out of my own way but that has all seemed to change and that happened when I decided to completely revamp the way that I was doing things. I in the last couple years have learned that if a person wants something they need to grab it and make it what they want it to be, no one will hand life to you but giant plates of food and a sedentary lifestyle can and will take it from us each and every time.

Take back what is yours..

As Ever
Me